Courtesy of the lovely Ros and David at Kites’ Nest Cottage, Jane and I have just had a few days away in the Brecon Beacons. We went there two years ago. Indeed, we even visited the same three tourist places we’d gone to before. So it was familiar and not that different to last time: and that was what we needed.
During these last few months, we have used the phrase ‘familiar yet different’ on many occasions.
We coined it when talking about our new/old home: a house we last lived in 11 years ago. In the months between our tenants moving out and us moving in, we had a lot of work done to it. In part, so that when we returned, it would be a home which was familiar yet different – in a positive way.
By the same token, though, being back in the same village, using the same routes in and out of nearby Exeter, walking the same footpaths, sitting in the same rooms, while being familiar, feel different. Our home – our own home – still doesn’t feel quite like home. It has a somewhat ‘unreal’ feeling to it. Carrying both good and difficult memories of when we were here before. Carrying familiar points of stability alongside unsettling feelings from the huge change that has taken place, especially for Jane but also for me as we seek to rebalance ourselves after years of vicarage living. But it does take time to change – and it is only six weeks…
I’ve written about change on many occasions on this blog. In fact, it was the main topic of the very first post back in 2018 just a few weeks before my own experience of retirement. I’ve even written a whole book on the topic (there’s not many copies left now so do order one if you’ve not got it yet!)
Change is a fact of life – whether we like it or not. We all have moments when we need a time without change. Yet there is also the reality check of punk band The Jam’s line, ‘Stop dreaming of the quiet life, it’s one we’ll never know.’
For me, coping with change is probably one of the most important, yet underestimated, skills of day to day living. The impact and endurance of change – whatever that encompasses and involves – ranks well above many other aspects of what Revd Richard Coles calls ‘this liveable life’.
Sometimes, change is not within our control. Other times, it can be. How we react and respond to change will vary and will itself change as time goes on.
Perhaps you are encountering change at the moment. There are many ways we can cope with change but one approach is to hold on to that which remains familiar – even if that too is different.
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Details of my books can be found at richardfrostauthor.com.